I Wholeheartedly Apologize

1. “Towards”? No. “Toward”. Some would argue “samey same no takebacks, fucker”, but to them I say: “How the fuck can you pluralize a preposition?” Aboves? No. Arounds? No. See how this works?

2. “Any” means one of many. E.g., “pick any card” or “press any key”. One. Singular. Therefore, selecting one of many different ways results in: Any way. Or, more colloquially: Anyway. It’s never “anyways”. Never ever ever ever. Ever. Infinity. Fucking stop it!

3. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, and wish to deliver an indicative utterance: It’s spelled “oops” which rhymes with “poops”. It is not spelled “opps” which rhymes with “drops”. Unless you’re actually trying to convey that you’d normally say something that rhymes with “plops”, in which case you’re fucking retarded because nobody says “opps”; everyone says “oops”.


2 thoughts on “I Wholeheartedly Apologize

  1. Towards is an acceptable variant of toward. It seems to be the only accepted seemingly plural variant of a preposition. It is more common in British English, but is not uncommon in American English (and is not incorrect, though it does not follow an accepted “rule”).

    Who the fuck says opps?

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