Me: Tonight is Murder Night.
Gregg: um OK
Me: Intended victim: Invasive mulberry bush.
Me: I’ve already cut the motherfucker down twice.
Gregg: BURN IT
Me: I need to at least appear to attempt to save the one next to it (which it appears to be strangling).
Gregg: BURN IT ANYWAY, AND HOLD A TEARY PRESS CONFERENCE ABOUT COLLATERAL DAMAGE AND YOUR TOTAL COMMITMENT TO MINIMIZE CIVILIAN CASUALTIES.
Gregg: Then blame a mid-level officer and get on with life.