Recent Events Presented Superlatively

Good: Finding $5 in a jeans pocket after they’ve been through the wash.
Better: It happens to your wife.
Best: She immediately hands the money to you.

Bad: The Gators lose the Capital One Bowl in the 4th quarter.
Worse: The Bulls get destroyed in the Sun Bowl.
Worse: Your Mom’s at the game in El Paso.
Worst: Your wife and in-laws are Michigan fans.

Good: The Washington Capitals win a game.
Better: Against the Ottawa Senators, the best team in the Eastern Conference.
Best: They do it again 3 days later on New Year’s Day, and you’re 6 rows from the glass.

Bad: The ring you buy your wife (on sale) for Xmas has a stone that is unexpectedly large; it is, therefore, socially unacceptable… save for Presidential inaugurations or events involving royalty.
Worse: You throw away the attached price tag because it’s a gift… 3 weeks before Xmas.
Worst: That tag is required for any-and-all jewelry returns or exchanges.

Good: Your wife gives you new Docs for Xmas.
Better: Your wife gives you a gift certificate for Xmas.
Best: The cert is for a place where you make your own beer.

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