Number 88 will Forever be an Injury Scratch

According to CNNSI, Eric Lindros will announce his retirement from the NHL tomorrow.

Am I the only hockey fan on the Earth to think, “it’s about fucking time”?

He was–seemingly–the savvy inventor of such classic hockey moves as The Dive, the Behind-the-Play-Two-Handed-Slash, and single-handedly convinced NHL officials to start calling boarding penalties for fear that he would actually die on the ice should he accidentally brush up against the boards while making a line change.

This guy’s had so many concussions that the position of his brain inside his skull is dictated solely by Brownian motion.

The two main reasons why I’m glad he’s finally going to retire:

1. So he doesn’t actually die on the ice.

2. He epitomizes all the undesirable characteristics of the modern-day, professional hockey player.

Congratulations on having a long and scintillating career in the NHL, sir.

I’ll leave it at that.

Who says I don’t have any class?


3 thoughts on “Number 88 will Forever be an Injury Scratch

  1. Reason Number 3:

    That low class shit he pulled in the Lightning parking lot with Nazarov in 1999.
    Lindros and five guys vs. Nazarov and his girlfriend.

    He had the size and the skills to do truly awesome things in the NHL, it was a shame he turned out to be such a pillow-biting-nancy-boy.

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