1. De-authorize iTunes account on G5 iMac.
2. Transfer activation of Adobe CS2 on G5.
3. Unbox and set up new Intel iMac.
4. Begin transfer of account, applications, etc. from G5 to Intel.
5. Entertain self for 2.5 hours while transfer process consistently lies about remaining time.
6. Authorize iTunes account on new Intel.
7. Launch Photoshop and transfer activation to new Intel.
Everything seemed to be on the up-and-up. Until…
1. Launch Illustrator to finalize artwork for tradeshow exhibition.
2. Intel says: “Cannot perform that operation.”
3. Mutter “fuck”.
4. Attempted launch of Illustrator fails for the second time.
5. Mutter “fuck” some more.
6. Follow instructions on how to uninstall all CS2 apps as provided by Adobe on the installation CD to exacting specification.
7. Attempt reinstall of all CS2 apps via Adobe’s on-disk installer.
8. Install fails silently with no errors. Try install again. Failure.
9. Exclaim “Goddamnit” while simultaneously half-assedly remembering something about CS2 and Quicktime version wonkiness.
10. Engage software update.
11. Become shocked that 338.9 MB of updates must be applied to the brand-new, ordered-last-week machine to get it up-to-date, even though 10.4.9 has been released for months.
12. Entertain self for 1 hour while software update relentlessly mocks the user.
13. Restart the Intel 14 times as prompted by the system; additional mockery by way of firmware update.
14. Run software update again to snag the latest Quicktime… 61.8 MB more; restart yet again.
15. Attempt installation of CS2 for the third time.
16. Entertain self for 35 minutes while CS2 allegedly installs.
17. Run Adobe software updater.
18. Entertain self for another hour while shit gets downloaded from Adobe and installed; enter Admin password 18 times.
19. Launch Illustrator to finalize artwork for tradeshow exhibition.