My Latest Foray into Programming

Them: Is there an easy way to perform Action X?

Me: There has to be; let me get back to you.

[typing, testing, typing]

Me: Here you go. Now you can easily do X.

Them: There must be a better way to perform Action X.

Me: (sighing) Please tell me—in the vaguest terms possible—about your new and spurious requirements!

Them: Can’t the application perform Action Y in the course of doing X in a more reliable manner all the while providing copious amounts of feedback to me?

Me: Probably, but I’m not so sure about doing Y simultaneously with X…

[typing, testing, typing]

Me: Fuck.

Me: (to programming experts) I cannot figure out how to do Y simultaneously with X.

Experts: The desired solution to your particular situation represents something that is impossible to achieve without ripping a hole in the fabric of space-time… or voodoo zombie dust.

Me: Fuck.

Them: How’s it going on the X/Y thing?

Me: You’re fucked. Here you go. Now you can easily do X.