Return of the NHL

The Tampa Bay Lightning were catchers tonight; the Florida Panthers were the pitchers. The only thing that could have possibly made the Bolts’ beatdown better (in a masochistic sense) would’ve been if Chris Gratton (fuckin’ punk) got a hat-trick. He didn’t, but it was a gorefest regardless.

The no-way-in-hell-they’ll-make-the-playoffs Washington Capitals, however, played surprisingly well against gold-medal-winner-led Maple Leaves in Toronto (Mats Sundin is the captain for the Leaves, was the captain for Sweden in Torino). Toronto should have pulled Eddie “the Eagle” Belfour in the second because he was getting scored on more than your sister at a high school kegger. Meanwhile, Caps backup netminder Brent Johnson was—should I?—Kolzig-esque throughout the game.

Ovechkin got a point on a questionable goal to extend his scoring streak (not incl. the Olympics), but he wasn’t the best man on the ice tonight.

Two words: Matt Pettinger

Goddamn, I’m happy the NHL is back.

It’s almost chubby.