Drawing a Skewed Parallel

When the Lightning waived captain Dave Andreychuk, the team responded almost immediately (multiple meetings were required) and came off that bad news by winning a few games in a row and regaining their “stride” to a certain extent.

When Mario Lemieux retired (again), the Penguins came off that bad (good?) news by kicking the ever-loving shit out of the Caps in Pittsburgh tonight to break their 10-game losing streak. I’ll leave it to Garrett to cover the game, and give the Caps an “F”.

Statements of fact, dear readers. I never taint my hockey posts with personal opinion or subjective material; I report, you decide.

The Caps’ coaches shouldn’t have left Kolzig out there with his dick twisting in the wind behind zero defense like that. Should have pulled ‘Zilla after perhaps the fifth or sixth goal? What about his goals-against-average? Won’t anyone think of his GAA? Fuck.