I am (Going or Already) Completely Batshit

… an embarrassingly true story of my impending insanity.

The Facts: I’m in hardcore laundry-doin’ mode in preparation for the trip to Virginia Beach to attend the annual Neptune Festival this weekend with my lovely girlfriend. The dryer buzzed. The load of dark-colors was no longer wet. I pulled my beloved Misfits t-shirt from the warm maw of the dryer, and properly installed its hanger. Then…

The Insanity: I pulled out the next t-shirt and instinctually grabbed a hanger. I stopped. I looked at the shirt, looked at the hanger, and actually spoke out loud:

Sorry, buddy. You’re being relegated to the Drawer of Obsolescence.

… and proceeded to fold the shirt accordingly.

This event begs a lot of questions:

  1. Who hangs up their crappy-ass t-shirts? I do.
  2. Who anthropomorphizes a crappy-ass t-shirt and addresses it in the second person? I did.
  3. Who actually considers one of the dresser drawers the “Drawer of Obsolescence”? Sadly, I do.

Y’know… because the undies, shorts and sock drawers see a lot of action.

File this under: Gary’s attempt at plausible deniability by way of insanity… with a little pinch of legal inculpability thrown in for good measure.


One thought on “I am (Going or Already) Completely Batshit

  1. 1. I do.

    2. I do.

    3. Nope. You’ve got me there. I do tell the offending garment that it’s either

    a. headed to the thrift store

    b. headed to file 13

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