“I Want My Foreskin Back!”

The quoted title of this entry is, from stories told, what I incessantly screamed after coming out of general anesthesia involved in my circumcision when I was five years old. You think that’s scary? My brother was seven.

Apparently, or at least according to Wired, there’s some sort of grassroots movement advocating foreskin restoration (pun fully intended). My mom told me we were going out for ice cream, and I ended up getting my penis mutilated… so you can agree that I wasn’t complicit in the decision back in ’78. Given that the last time a scalpel was anywhere NEAR my penis was 26 years ago (not counting that one time in college)… why the everlovingfuck would I consciously opt for my dick to be cut open EVER again?

Or, why would I tape shit to my penis? Or, why would I attach weights to my penis? Or… y’know… why would ANYBODY… except for maybe those crazy assholes in the Jackass movie that’s been in heavy rotation on Cinemax?

Count me the fuck out. My little guy is fine, thankyouverymuch. Now where the fuck is my ice cream?!


2 thoughts on ““I Want My Foreskin Back!”

  1. Man, about a year ago i was passing the capitol building at like 1 p.m. on the way back from a meeting and passed an anti circumcision protest. Actually it was about twenty people with a big banner with a big slogan(which I can’t remember) basically comparing circumcision to abortion. That was a day that I wish I had my camera handy.

  2. A friend of mine up here, now 29 years old, had to have a circumcision for medical reasons about a year ago. Says other than it looking different, he doesn’t care either way if he had it. Sex feels the same (since when doing the deed it is pretty much out of the way anyway).

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