Overheard in iChat: Part 6

Me: Erin found some baby clothes that said something on the front in PHP.

Me: Like: <?php “baby();”> or something like that.

Me: So that made me think: “Python onesie”.

class Baby(Human):
   def __init__(self):
       return self

Gregg: Isn’t that a singleton?

Me: I don’t know what a “singleton” is… at least how it relates to programming.

Gregg: A class that only exists to return a single object.

Me: Then, yes, it would be.

Gregg: Technically, I guess it should test if other instances exist and either kill them or refuse to create.

Gregg: But it’s a fucking baby thing, there’s not enough space on the child’s front for real design patterns.

Gregg: Looking over those last few lines, I now know why I never get invited to parties.

Me: You wouldn’t want to imply that the baby kills other instances of Baby which subclass Human.

Me: Not yet, anyway.

Me: You could always subclass differently to imply it.

class Baby(Cthulu):
    RECURSION

Overheard in iChat: Part 5

Gregg: DIVIDE BY ZERO
Gregg: PERL6 WILL ALLOW DIVISION BY 0
Gregg: THAT’S WHY IT’S TAKING SO LONG
Me: Instead of throwing an error, it will return a unicorn.
Gregg: WIN

Overheard in iChat: Part 4

Gregg: (to me) While we disagree on elements of the One True Language (i.e., Perl, Python, or PHP), I think we are totally united in saying: “HAHAHA, Twitter was down for 3 hours during the [Apple] keynote. Eat a dick Ruby on Rails fags!”

(here’s what he was talking about)

Overheard in iChat: Part 3

On the topic of bowling:

Gregg: Now if you’re all, “Let’s go bowling and get arrested,” I can offer a number of strategies to facilitate this.

Me: I don’t want my first arrest to be for drunk and disorderly at a fuckin’ bowling alley.

Me: I want it to be fucking epic.

Gregg: Like fucking a mime to death?

Me: Only if the mime is a retarded nun.

Overheard in iChat: Part 2

Me: Ooh… Neko Case released a live album.

Me: Now all the hot hipsters will have something to spooge over.

Gregg: I don’t know who that is.

Me: Neither do I.

Me: Hip people love him/her.

Me: Hip people who rank The Decemberists albums at the top of their yearly lists - every year.

Gregg: Oh, the ones I want to kill?

Me: Precisely.

Overheard in iChat

Gregg: I thought the bulk [of Hispanic immigrants] around NoVA was Salvadoran (hence the MS-13 hysteria).

Me: (shrugging) I suppose.

Me: But you don’t hear about MH-13 from Honduras because it doesn’t exist, and is therefore useless in the main stream media / Bush Administration plot to scare the living shit out of white America.

Gregg: I’m keeping my eye on you for the good of the country. You might try that reconquista shit at any moment.

Me: Good tack.

Me: You never know when I’m gonna’ snap and start channeling the Pancho Villa action.

Gregg: One minute you’re watching hockey, and the next thing you know, boom.

Me: Beans everywhere.

Minor liberties were taken with the actual iChat transcript for presentation purposes.